User Profile

My personality is as complex and multilayered as an onion used as a metaphor to describe something that is complex and multilayered. Something like my personality, for example. It also goes great with cheese and beer. I also speak three languages, but never at once, and am known, rather inexplicably, as the "Discount Viscount" in both New Jersey and Thailand. There are hundreds of people who can say they run a 6 minute mile, but only I say that I can run a 3. I refuse to pay for water in a country where decorative fountains and puddles are free, and I won't buy a Nalgene when I have my pick of a perfectly good coffee pot or empty shampoo bottle. It's been said that I competed and won on Nickelodeon's Guts, which would be the most plausible and least disturbing explanation for the Piece of the 'Crag that I keep on my mantle. I like to spend my free time standing proud on mountaintops, stone spires, and tall buildings, dramatically facing the endless horizon, preferably with clear eyes, windswept hair, and billowy outerwear.

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